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12. Excercise is supposed to make me happy? January 19, 2010

Posted by Lisa in Goals, Motivation, Vent.
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To take my last job, I had to stop working out.  I’ve been with one trainer for a couple years and he’s excellent.  Before my last job, I could do 50 push-ups in one set and 5 pull-ups.  I used to run a 5K to warm up for my training session.

Now I’m a wimp.

Three hours in the car every day and a stressful job being the center of attack of a couple different groups, I was mentally and physically dead every night.  My trainer works in the opposite direction from my job and I wasn’t paying for a second gym membership.

My awesome win at the pool bar obstacle course in Cozumel last year – which included my sopping wet 50 pushups buzzed, and against a guy!  All that shot to hell.

It’s depressing.  I weigh exactly the same, but alas, muscle has turned to fat.  (I know, one can’t be turned into the other, etc etc etc, but you know what I mean).  It’s that relative density thing.  Muscle is about 20% denser than fat.  So your body’s “packaging” has to get a little bigger when the muscle mass is saying adieu.

The experts of the world endlessly repeat mindlessly that exercise helps depression, health, self-esteem, etc.  True dat.  But getting back into the workouts THEMSELVES is depressing!

But, since I’m supposed to be positive about my searching, I did start training again and will try to get to the gym at least 4 times a week.  Now I’m limiting myself to a mile or 1.5 to avoid start-up injuries.  I can do 50 push-ups, but in about 4 or 5 sets.  I won’t even attempt pull-up for fear of killing all my motivation.  Sigh.

It’s gonna be depressing for a while until I can see any type of progress to where I was before.  Hopefully a big dose of those endorphin thingies will help me bridge the gap.

Compass Point – there’s too much blathering self-help on the Internet.  Put it back down and walk away. The zillion internet sites with nearly identical expert canned advice with happy little “simple tips to get started” for any topic can actually make you to feel worse.  Don’t take it personally.

12 down, 348 to go.

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